December 14, 2010

Taking it easy...

I decided to take things easy. I am not chasing love anymore. I will wait for it to happen at the right time at the right place. Do I believe this? Yes. Besides, I don't have any other options than believing in this. I dated so many wrong guys aka loser, disgusting jerks that at this stage in my life all I can do is to wait. I am still young. There is no need to be desperate to find love. I can take my time.

He is some where out there and I will meet him one day.

Till then let's talks about old funny dating stories ;)


Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong.

The storm is coming soon.

I still believe in summer days
The seasons always change
and life will find a way.

December 09, 2010


There isn't much to write about really. I guess Mary is right, if you push something too much it won't come true. I dedicated myself so much finding a boy friend since April, because I want to be in a relationship happily. I am sick of being single. I want someone next to me who is in love with me and just happy to be with me. So, I dated many guys, but I couldn't find what I was looking for. I always eliminate men if they don't fit my criteria. I hope like my Mary says I can realize him when I run into him, because I am afraid that I cannot see this since I keep eliminating them and moving on. I don't want to end up alone, and just because I don't want to end up alone, I don't want to be with someone who is not good enough for me. I want to find the One. Do I ask for too much? If there is someone for everyone where is my match?

I'm tired, can't we just sleep tonight?
There's just nothing left to say here...

December 07, 2010

Thank You CJ

I hosted a formal dinner party recently and guess who was one of the guests? Yes, you guessed it correctly. It was CJ. At first i came up with this plan just to see him or to create another chance to hang out with him, i don't know. Then it turned into a way that I just didn't care if he comes or not, I was going to be with my friends and this is what was important for me. I was going to enjoy myself and entertain my guests.

I don't care what others say, he was still upset with me that I didn't buy his game and confronted him saying that it's not ok to use me for my connections. Still a twenty-seven year-old man should know how to behave when he is among friends, my friends. Clearly, he has no clues. He was really rude to me. He barely talked to me. As if he was in a restaurant having dinner with his friends and I was the waitress. Wait! That's not all. After the dinner, he was lying on my couch his feet up on. I was like when did we get married CJ, and when did you become the man of the house? Who gave you the right to behave like that? Maybe he thought he is entitled to behave like this, because I had been to his place before, I guess four times in total. Still, it was his first time being in my home. I would expect him to be a gentleman with some manners. Clearly, he doesn't have any! However, I should thank to him. By being so rude and offhand, he helped me to de-attach myself from him, and I stated this clearly to him. I think he was a little stressed when me and my friend were talking about this guy who also wanted to come over. However, what I saw on CJ's face that he was a little stressed, because he realized that I unmasked him and made it clear to him that I already moved on. So, if he thought he was punishing me by not texting back and trying to ruin my plans for the night...sorry CJ you couldn't do it!

I am surprised that he was more jerk than all the other jerks that I know. He looks like a good guy, he treats you as if he is a good guy, but once you get to know him a little's like opening the can of worms. He is disgusting me, because of the rude behaviors he had at my home. I am glad I am almost over him. I need the other 10% to be over him 100%, but still 90% is a good ratio to begin with! :)


No strings attached between me and you
Amazing it seems
You mean nothing to me anymore...

December 02, 2010

First Argument

This morning I sent him my first pissed off text message. Few hours later I was all calmed down and decided to apologize and explain why I did, what I did. I wrote him how he made me feel and told him that we can see each other in any atmosphere, as long as he doesn't invite me to an event because he needs to impress people for his job. One hour nineteen minutes later he send me a very political answer, turning up everything as if it was all in my mind and I made it up and he has no idea what i was talking about. I couldn't believe it, but I saw that there was no point in arguing with him, I would be just wasting my time. So, I said ok whatever let's move on. Actually, this argument helped me to de-attach myself from him. One more time he proved me he is not who I think or who I want him to be.

Ah how much I miss Keith in times like this. His answer to my message would be all honest and sweet, not political like CJ. Anyways, never miss an ex. This is my motto and I am sticking to it!

Nothing will ever be the same again...