After having a heart-to-heart talk with my best friend T, I realized that CJ is not the guy I want. He is a nice guy, but he's not the "One" that I'm looking for. He is not even close to what I want and I always knew this. I was just not listening to myself.
T is right, he is not even really interested in me. Maybe he found me different, interesting, pretty, but if he had really liked me, he would be doing something to get my heart. More than texting and inviting me out when he's around and has free time.
Thinking of letting him go still hurts me, but this is what I need to do. I will move on one more time. There is no point of hurting myself. I will change the way I act; I will be "just a friend". I will not see him for a while or won't join him when he asks me. I am sure he will realize this soon. He's not a dumb guy after all. He needs to know that I can give up on him easily.
I'll be still looking for the right guy for myself, and I hope to find him soon. I deserve to be in a relationship happily. I just don't believe that there is this right guy for me. It's like missing someone that doesn't exist...
You don't mean nothing at all to me...
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